I've been meaning to blog for the longest time ever but I couldn't find the right time, or the right words to express the things that have been going on inside my head. Now that I am done with Trials(SPM), I feel like a heavy weight has been lifted off my shoulders. Not for long, though, not for long. SPM itself is in less than 6 weeks. Yikes!
Can't believe I didn't blog about Raya, not that it was super-exciting or anything considering I only got to spend the whole of Syawal in KL, while Mom and baby brother got to fly back to our hometown! It hit me though, that Raya isn't as fun as it used to be. I guess this is how it feels like.. growing up. The usual Selamat-Hari-Raya-salams, too turned into Good-Luck-for-SPM wishes.
First day of Syawal: went to Grandmama's place to meet up with the extended fam, asked for forgiveness from everyone and then off to Great-grandmama's to meet more(and more..) family members. As always. Nothing extraordinary happened except for the fact that I didn't see this one farmiliar face. And that particular person is a relative of mine. A young boy. We're not even close, it's just that I see him at every family gathering. Turns out he had to go to work, yeap, on the first day of Syawal. No big deal right -- that's how life is.
The very next week -- trials had just started; the night before my Math paper, around 11.30 p.m. to be exact, I was feeling thirsty so I decided to go downstairs to get a glass of water(I rarely do so, since I get really lazy to go up and down the flights of stairs) but I did anyway. It was weird that my parents were both downstairs, still up -- way past their bedtime(or maybe not, I'm not sure). That was when my mother asked me if I had heard "the news". I replied no instantly, in oblivion and was itching to know what was really going on! I was then told that my 19-year-old-relative, whom I did not get the chance to see during Raya, and whose face was farmiliar to me, had just passed away in an accident. I stood there standing like a fool for a minute or so, speechless, trying to figure out if my parents were pulling a prank on me. Oh how I wish they were. My instant reaction was just "oh. Innalillah." Went to the kitchen, got myself a glass of water and sat down. That was when my tears wouldn't stop falling. I mean, he was only 19 years old, still very very young. My brother's age. Just 2 years older than me. Hasn't even gotten the chance to live and now he's gone. I wouldn't go into the way he died, it was tragic and that'd never fail to make me start crying. And the last time I saw him? During Arwah Opah Amy's funeral. Who would've known that his would be next? One thing I know for sure is, God has better plans for him.
So my conclusion is; no matter how big your dreams are, or how you think you have it all planned out, think again. Life can be taken away from you just about any time. Be at the wrong place and at the wrong time and then that's it. Oh, and please becareful on the road. I'm sure everyone would say they're a good driver, but too bad other people aren't.
